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Future Headlines


News

By Lee Russ, Section Humor
Posted on Thu May 18, 2006 at 10:29:02 AM EST

Having been reassured by a host of Republicans on recent television shows that all is well and good and thriving, I started to wonder some future headlines might look like.

Like these:

(212 comments, 230 words in story) Full Story

Katherine Harris--the woman who wasn't there


Republicons

By Lee Russ, Section Humor
Posted on Tue May 09, 2006 at 03:44:11 PM EST

You'd think that a president would remain eternally grateful to a woman who helped deliver the presidency.  But this is politics, and the woman is Katherine Harris, now known as the Senate Candidate from Hell.

What happens when the Candidate from hell greets the reluctant president, and grabs the president's hand in a death grip?

(2 comments, 198 words in story) Full Story

The 23d Qualm


Republicons

By Lee Russ, Section Humor
Posted on Wed May 03, 2006 at 08:17:30 AM EST

My wife got this in an e-mail, with no indication of who the author is. Just thought I'd share it.

(4 comments, 151 words in story) Full Story

You want paranoid, I've got paranoid--it's "Hide the Bush" time


Republicons

By Lee Russ, Section Humor
Posted on Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 04:11:59 PM EST

Okay, I live in 21st century America, I read and I watch television.  You bet I'm paranoid, because these are paranoid times.  And paranoia does its job well, frequently supplying the real answer to the old "Why in the hell did they do that?" question.  For example:

(2 comments, 814 words in story) Full Story

Which Lie Are We To Buy This Time, George?


Humor

By Number Six, Section Humor
Posted on Tue Mar 21, 2006 at 11:31:53 PM EST

You have got to see this...

(2 comments, 29 words in story) Full Story

If only Cheney had shot Chuck Roast instead of Harry Whittington


News

By Lee Russ, Section Humor
Posted on Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 04:34:12 PM EST

Lots of analysis has already gone into Cheney's shotting of Harry Whittington, but I haven't seen anything about trying to recreate the events as described by Cheney and the other witnesses.

But Thom Gunn undertook that dangerous task and describes the results in the Whidbey News Times.

(2 comments, 164 words in story) Full Story

"Freedom Fries" Iranian Style


News

By Lee Russ, Section Humor
Posted on Thu Feb 16, 2006 at 02:31:53 PM EST

Proving that Iranians can be every bit as petty and simplistic as American politicians, an Iranian "confectioner's union" has decreed that there shall be no more "Danish pastries" in Iran.  No, in order to punish the Danes for the publication of the cartoons depicting Muhammad, the country's pastry lovers will instead have to request "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad."

(3 comments, 133 words in story) Full Story

You go hunting with the Dick you've got...


News

By Lee Russ, Section Humor
Posted on Wed Feb 15, 2006 at 07:40:51 AM EST

As the White House struggles to explain the mysterious delay in going public with the Dick Cheney shooting of Mr. Whittington, and to explain how an experienced hunter could mistake a large lawyer for a small quail, it's only natural that the press seek information from long time colleague Donald Rumsfeld.

(3 comments, 439 words in story) Full Story

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